Some minds are always hustling to make sense of all the things around them,
so they are always waiting,
always screaming in their heads
“it will all make sense someday”
Yeah, that’s me there!
I mean, not using a mobile phone during high school makes sense now, for me at least!
At 25, School days make perfect sense but College still gets on my nerves somehow.
I had four years of College.
I wrote a piece just after College was about to end. It had messages to all the people I cared about then. They were about 20 people.
Now, after another 4 years since my bachelors, there are just a handful left. The best part is that I am grateful of just those handfuls, thankful of those who left, and ready to drop in some of the remaining ones too through the course of life. Maybe, that’s how it is, letting go; with time, it flows through your veins and moves out as easily as a feather would tumble off one’s sleeves on a windy day.
After 2 years of completion of my bachelors degree, I went back to the place where my College is and saw the same bricks, the same big banyan tree near the basketball court, the same big staircases to the main hall, the same chairs in the classrooms, the same cafeteria still out of blue lays, still just one photocopy machine, Maggi tasted exactly the same as it used to in 2016 and 2012, everything was great and exactly how it was supposed to be. That’s when I realised that Colleges couldn’t be manifested by such a meaningless denotation as a Place. It’s more than just a Google Maps search. You can’t simply pin point your College on the world map. The whole point of explaining the entire sentimentality that comes along with it falls short somewhere down the line while simply speaking about the position of your College on this planet.
After 2 years, I had realised that I was wrong on missing that place. I never missed the place. It was all the same! What I missed was myself. The version of me that used to roam around that place in another time period.
That version of me has vanished.
Puff!
Gone!
It goes off so fast and unobserved.
College is where you are free within four walls.
Rules can be broken just so you can laugh about it.
Hearts couldn’t be broken there. If at all they did, they were mended soon enough.
Less responsibilities.
Less money.
Less network.
There’s a lot less of everything in College.
When at last you realise that you are no longer that person anymore, you start missing her a lot. That’s when you’ve got to sit and introspect whether you’ve grown or not. Though, the younger version seems cool right now, I hope the older one’s wiser.
So here’s the truth.
People leave,
and you leave too.
So you would not just loose friends,
you’d want to loose them too.
Remember that it’s perfectly fine both ways.
You’re going to miss your younger version a lot. A LOT. You would want to change back to her as well. But before doing that, do ask yourself, does time calls it necessary?
